Pet Peeves : Bobmin!

So - the writers at bobmin.fanficauthors.net are very good. Sunset over Britain is a truly inspired story, and while Sunrise was far too long, a bit dull and nowhere near as good, that doesn't mean Sunset was bad.

But in their author's notes (which, by the way, since there are two of them should have the apostrophe after the s in Authors and not before it - the notes are from both authors, not just one) they write a section called Pet Peeves where - basically - they bitch about other people. Quite possibly just to prove how good they are, and how bad other people are.

One example is switching perspectives - from first person to third and back again. They say that it's rare you'll find a published book that does that (which I disagree with, not to mention the films you get that do it. Blade Runner for example, and some of the Thursday Next series), and that it's annoying.

Other complaints are about mistakes in the story (such as Author's). But since everyone is, at best, human, even the most perfect beta-reader might miss things sometimes. It's inevitable, and - quite honestly -as long as it doesn't confuse the story, I don't see why it matters. If I write "It was there belief that they would win" you still get what I mean? And while I'm not suggesting spelling and grammar don't matter at all, you have to remember a) some fanfic writers aren't writing in English as a first language, but they are doing it so we can read their stories, and b) no one gets paid to do this, and it's done in their spare time.

They object to Super-Powered and Equipped Harry. Why? It's a plot device. And - on a side note - Sunset has a Super-Powered Harry with a spectaral Dog he can use to attack people, a staff he can use to throw giants in to orbit and the ability to apparate within Hogwarts. How is that different from what they are complaining about?

And finally - they bitch about using adult language or not. If you are writing for a mature audience, they say, you should be willing to say so, but if you're not, you shouldn't try to use rude words or metaphors to explain what you mean.

Well - first there is Sunset, which is full of sex and is rated Mature, and yet they say Lucius "fouled himself". But in their Pet Peeves, they say "If you write shite, don't you think everyone is going to know what you mean?" Well - if you write "fouled himself", don't you think everyone knows what you mean as well?

Secondly - most (all) of my stories (for example) are G+ or PG-13 depending on the site you are on. This is because I am just not one to write for adults only. And while I am not going to write detailed sex scenes, and I am not going to use the more overt curse words (I think hell, damn, bollocks and bloody are about as far as I am willing to go), I think it is LUDICROUS to ignore the fact I have married couples in my stories, and that - as a rule - married couples are going to have sex. And that when Hermione comes home to find Luna's head hanging from her front door knocker, to think she would only say "Oh dear me" is an insult to the intelligence of my readers.

So I use metaphors. I use descriptions. I say ".....she suddenly realised her daughter was scrabbling at the buttons to Luna's dress....." to indicate that Hermione is going to boff Luna good and proper. And I say "As Hermione stared in disbelief at the bloody scene in front of her, she let out a stream of curses that would make a sailor blush". Both of which leave it up to the reader to decide what is going on. So the little kiddies (although very little kiddies shouldn't be reading my stories, as they are 13+ generally) can think Minnie is saying "bugger bottom willy and bum" while older readers might have a few more colourful words in mind.

And - on a final note - the opening chapter of Sunrise says "The international Wizarding community has decided that you are far too ugly to be allowed to travel outside of Britain and Scotland". And I would argue that while everything they list might annoy them, not knowing BASIC WORLD GEOGRAPHY is inexcusable. Especially for people who are so full of themselves they are happy to criticise tiny little faults in everyone else's stories.

This has been bugging me for a while, because I don't think it is their place to be insulting other people's work when writing notes about their own story. And yes, I have just spent about ten minutes insulting their work, except I'm not. I'm insulting the fact they are insulting other people's work, and pointing out how hypocritical they are in their insults. Plus this is not a story, this is a journal. It would never, ever occurr to me to write any of this in the author's notes for a story I wrote.

The only time I have come close was when I was bitching about The Lord Of The Rings movies, but they were truly crap and I was writing a parody of them in the world of HP, so it seemed fair that I should explain why I was taking the piss out of the films so much. And even then, I limited it to maybe one or two paragraphs of notes, and not three or four every chapter.

Plus I think anyone who is willing to write a story and put it on the web deserves some respect. Even if the story is utterly crap, they still had the guts to do it. And if it is crap, then you leave them a review (if you can), with constructive comments. You don't use the end of a chapter of your story to dump on them in front of the rest of the world. Because that is, basically, a shitty thing to do to people.

Nineteen Years Later - Hiatus

So - it seems I just can not remember what the plot of NYL should be. I've got the 19 Years Plotted out (generally death on a large scale, plus a few babies and weddings), but as for what happens after the 19 Years are up - I really have no idea.

So for the moment I'm putting it on Hiatus. It's not completely abandoned, but until I can work out some idea of what should be going on, I really can't write any more of it.

So my deepest apologies to anyone who was waiting for it to be continued, but I have tried and tried for the past two or three weeks to continue with it, and it is just not happening. And since I have some standards (not a lot, but some) I can't write something I am not sure about - it would go badly wrong and end up not being worth reading.

So - again - my apologies.

Something I really have no explanation for.

Given how much I screw with canon (HP canon in particular), I really don't have any explanation for why certain HP/Buffy (or HP/Charmed) (or Buffy/Charmed) crossovers drive me up the wall, but they really do.

The ones where the author of the crossover doesn't seem to understand that Buffy and Harry are the same age. Or that the Halliwell sisters are about ten to fifteen years older than Harry and Buffy.

An example of this type of story was one I started reading earlier : Harry Potter and The Key of Dagon.

Harry has just finished his fifth year, and yet somehow Sunnydale is already a lagoon. Meaning that the story (from Buffy's perspective) must be set after May 2003 (when Sunnydale was destroyed).

Which (if you can't do the maths yourself) would make Harry just two months shy of being 23.

Or - just to show I am exploring all the options - it would mean that Buffy destroyed The Hellmouth in 1996 - when she was fifteen years old and had (at best) only just become a Slayer, and was over 18 months away from meeting Willow, Xander and Cordy. And (depending on your point of view) Dawn was four years away from being created (Although, since the modification of memories was flushed backwards through history, Dawn would've been 10).

And as for a story where Harry goes to school with The Halliwell sisters....... the less said about that, the better.

See - I have no problem with time-travel stories. So that if Buffy was dragged backwards in time to be in school with Harry, that would be fine. And if Harry went back in time to be in school with Piper, Prue and Phoebe - again, no problems.

And while I can screw with canon with the best of them, the idea of moving things around in time just seems wrong.

But the thing that bugs me the most is when the authors don't even acknowledge they've done it. Leading me to think they just don't KNOW they've done it - which just makes me despair somewhat.

Anyway. It bugs me, and I don't think I have found a single HP/Buffy crossover that doesn't jump all over these rules, which is pretty sad and pathetic, if you think about it.

General Catch Up Post

So - now that the fun and frolics of NaNo2008 are done with, I am sorting out the rest of the stories.

Firstly - Now and Then has been posted on both sites in its entirety. There were a few modifications from the original text (mostly spelling and grammar, but a few minor changes to the way things were phrased), and overall it was what I first wrote during NaNo.

Second - The Darkest Dawn is being posted on both sites. It is taking a little longer to post, because I am beta-ing it as I go along (since it's over two months since I wrote the first dozen chapters or so). Again - it's mostly staying the same, with a few changes of what people are saying.

So once TDD is finished (there's one more story chapter, then a number of "bonus" chapters) I am going to return to Nineteen Years Later and The Western Sky Series 2. In addition, I have restarted M.I.B and am doing full plotting stuff at the moment.

Annoyingly, I have an idea for a time-travel story involving Luna (a single story, rather than the single-chapter story that is "The Smartest Witch"). It came about from watching the Andromeda episode Ouroboros, and made me start thinking about either Luna doing the same thing (without telling anyone else). Plus most time-travel stories are about Harry going back - Harry being the last survivor, and I figure it's about time someone else got to have some fun. But that really is just in the rough planning stage, and doesn't have a suitable plot or title, and consequently is not on my urgent list.

Nineteen Years Later is being replotted (I lost the notepad that contained the complete pre-history, which means it has to be rewritten), and I should get back to that in the New Year (due to work and other commitents).

The Western Sky is an on-going thing, and I am up to Episode 2x05 ("Shadows From The Past" is the working title), even though on 2x01 has been posted (I am doing a three chapters ahead thing).

So - that's where things are.